Saturday, April 03, 2004
Tree .
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand
corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have
dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but
never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't
have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a
very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent,
like her
frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence
and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because
I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for
me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good
feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt
her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't
have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her
accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I
have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very
demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us.
She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running
off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely
didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her
the whole day.
When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in
the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training
to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once
when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's
not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided
with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled
shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my
girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like
nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't
know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her
out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something
to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to
tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her
getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going
after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively
and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of
the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile &
congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong
that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my
chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down
& I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for
the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send
10 days ago
when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since
then. It says "
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying
on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of
Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as
buddy kind.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling
I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be
describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.
Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after
a mth, he got together with another gal.I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since
he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move?
Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after
time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one
sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well.
It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is
very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his
feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect
me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care
for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he
will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every
night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he
is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give
up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt,
the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From
outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let
him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying
to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away it's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head.She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a
taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay
hmmm.. picked up this story frm tracy's blog.. hope she doesn't mind.. it's really nice.. n sad.. :(
hUitiNg stRange... 4/03/2004 01:54:00 PM
b0ring day.. zzz...
woke up @ 8.. jogged abit.. came back.. mopped the hse.. wahahas.
wad a miracle, gal. ahahas.. mum's orders mahz.. but got fed up after awhile.. so juz anyhow mop le.. =p slacked arnd.. read a bk on bed.. fell aslp again.. =s
wad a pig! ahahas. woke up to lunch.. then realised tad mum nt going out le.. -.-"
shucks. wanted to go out wif class 1.. then told them carn coz thot mum wanted to go out.. then end up alot of ppl can't go also i think.. so push forward to m0n lez.. sianz.. nw notting to do.. -.-"
sianz..
hUitiNg stRange... 4/03/2004 01:06:00 PM
Friday, April 02, 2004
Only Love
2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust
But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye
But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do
That's something only love can do
ahahas. ppl.. rmb this song..? nice lehz.. so long nv heard lez.. but it's definitely a 1jt fav'!! =p
hUitiNg stRange... 4/02/2004 07:41:00 PM
hmm... feelin' betta lez.. =)
assembly was boring.. a andrew matthews author came.. his drawings v cute lahz.. but the talk was still quite boring la.. dozed off... =S
civics was chatting wif mr lim.. hahax.. he rawkx lahz.. =p invited the whole class to the fitness camp.. =) yEa~!! =p
house time.. more fun la.. hahas.. screamed n cheered until my throat hoarse lez.. first part was the 'bigger, longest, harriest' thingy.. ahahas... inter-class comp. la.. then our class won majority of it.. =p i got gal wif largest ear (*aHeMs. erm..), g0r got harriest armpit(wahahas... ), n aNdY got biggest belly... hahax.. really v funny.. then the 2nd part.. sum 'geekiest' thingy.. then muz cross-dress up a couple to look lyk geeks... ahahas. our class got jiayi n yk.. hahax.. they looked so funny.. then still stuff tissue for yk's 'breast'... then the tissue dropped down.. wahahas.. then look lyk he sagged or sumthing... ahahas.. *pengz... but i think ahmad's the best, man!! ahahas... shld haf seen him.. =D ok.. so we ended up getting 3rd out of 5 classes.. hmmms.. ok lahz.. =)
pon phys lec.. slacked lohz.. den fall aslp again during cca talk.. den the lecture skills thingy was worse.. 2 periods summore n cannot slp.. =S den tad stupid g0r kp kajiao... -.-" ahahas... went home after tad.. =)
hahas.. S12 rAwKx!! *(^_^)*
hUitiNg stRange... 4/02/2004 05:29:00 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2004
thnx, g0r... it's often the many little things tad means the most.. =)
hUitiNg stRange... 4/01/2004 07:33:00 PM
hmmms. dunnoe wad to say, how to say or how to start.
amazed. dumbfounded. stunned.
can't believe it's less then 24hrs since i last blogged, yet so many things haf happened.
haix.
my mind's in a whirl now. i'm totally clueless as to how to react.
=(
hUitiNg stRange... 4/01/2004 05:53:00 PM
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
04S12
ahahas. so happy... the class is suddenly bonding non-stop lez! =p wahahax... here goes..
had civics... mr lim rawkx! =) then got phys lec.. but we went in late.. so had to sit on the floor.. =s but v funny lahz.. coz everyone didn't felt lyk listening.. so started compiling a contact list.. n toking 'bout making a class tee... then it became a class jersey.. n sumone was lame enuff to suggest class blazer/gown! wahahax... =D
then got sum presentation skills wrkshp.. thot it would b quite boring.. actually turned out to b quite fun n useful! =)
then chem lec.. our class nv go collect notes.. so we were stoning.. hahax... even played 100-squares bingo.. =X
maths.. wad can i say..? ah leong's still boring n sucky as usual.. hahax.. she told us sit according to classes.. n leave the 1st row empty... then they were commenting lyk 'ge tai' lidat.. ahahas. then the ohp kp going off itself 1/2way thru'... so we were lyk...
"hey.. the 1st row ppl kajiao la.." wahahahax... =)
lunch.. then went for sum compulsory concert.. by this australian grp.. playing wind instruments lyk flute n blahz...
chambermaids... yea.. tad's their name.. ermz.. quite boring lahz.. so was chatting again.. ahahas. =)
went parkway to meet ada, lijao, albert n huixian to get the photoes after tad.. feels gd to see them again.. =) btw.. erly's leaving tmr lez.. =(
*tk care, dear friend.. :)*
ciao~
hUitiNg stRange... 3/31/2004 08:33:00 PM
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
sAiNtEsTrAL|s 2004 rE|gNiTeD... f|nALe~!!
ahahas. at last.. some ra-ra going on in the new cg.. *phew... but mostly is we girls doing the screaming lahz.. ahahas.. the guys all lyk so guai 1.. excpt 1 or 2 lahz.. but stilll.. hmm... not enuff lahz.. hahax.. juz now got the cheering thingy.. then was standing wif ling n melv they'all.. ahahax... so happy.. can shout n scream together wif them at last!! :D hahax.. so screamed right into poor dineth n melv's ear.. wahahax... think i bursted their eardrums.. hahax.. =p
but the treasure hunt there then ok le lahz.. the cg started doing lotsa cheering.. ahahax.. the gals v enthu mahz.. so they also hafta b enthu ritez..? hmmms... came up wif lotsa funny cheers.. =p
anyway.. the finale was great.. though not as fun n high as the 1st orientation lahz.. hahax.. but nvm la.. still not bad... n even xx, xw n ivan came back!! =) ahahas.
0nCe a sAInT, aLwAyS a sA|nT~!!
*(^_^)*
hUitiNg stRange... 3/30/2004 08:46:00 PM
Monday, March 29, 2004
orientation day 1
haiz.. ytd nite was still thinking of changing combi to pcme.. but todae morning chickened out.. hahax.. dunnoe y oso la.. yeapz.. so i'm remaining in s12..
*yawnz.
hmmms... 1st day wif the new cg... bleahx. the ppl r nice la.. juz abit dead you mei you..? so had more fun doing theose mass dance n blahx instead of the station games.. hahax... y? coz i'm the only person cheering 1/2 the time.. n the rest juz stone there.. then i look lyk xiao char bo.. =S haix..sianz lehz. -.-"
haix.. miss S13 so terribly.. =( miss everyone.. ling, xing, sarahx, natx, hema, andita, zab, dineth, thad, melv, sam, jeremy, liangjun, k7, ahmad, pravin, piliang, guojie, lychee, liwu, gaolong, chennyap, vincent, geben, helmi, kexin...
*heex.. i nv look at name list horz! seriously..
S13 rAwKz!!
haix.. see the new S13 still kping the enthusiasm.. n S21 also.. haix.. y S12 lidat..? kk.. dun grumble lez.. maybe we'll all get more warmed up tmr..? hmmms... hopefully.. =)
nitez. *(^_^)*
hUitiNg stRange... 3/29/2004 10:40:00 PM
Sunday, March 28, 2004
hmmms.. here m i again.. =p so b0reD.. notting to do.. sianz..
heex.. went for a jog juz now.. yeapz.. got my butt up n moving at last.. hahax.. =p jogged 1 round in the park.. then walked back to lps.. took a slow jog round the whole sch.. hmmm.. nice.. memories flooding back. :)
mrs chia shouting at me outside the remedial classrm blk for notting.. n me 1/2 crying n 1/2 screaming back at her coz she maligned me..
alas, the building's no longer there now.. instead, a fitness station has taken its place.. =)
mdm goh crying when she had to leave the sch coz of the growing pressure frm
kaisai n mum... haix.. we were all sad @ her leaving n angry wif him.. =(
1st day in sch.. pri 1.. my buddy bringing me arnd during recess.. meijing's bro being over-protective wif her..
the time i caught br0 playing marbles wif his frends @ the sandpit.. hahax.. he was so shocked to see me.. =p
the foyer where we used to play
hopscotch, pepsi-cola, zeropoint n blahx during recess.. =)
the
mama shop beside the sch.. where we loved to buy 10-cent sweets n ice sticks(wadever-u-call-tad) frm after sch n eat n tok all the way home.. =p n guess wad..? it's still there, n so's the shopowner.. =)
strolled home after tad, enjoying the gentle breeze.. =)
juz realised tad the sajc uni is so damn difficult to iron.. =S hahax.. wad's new..? u hafta pay a price for a super-nice uni! =p
s0 L0nG~ *(^_^)*
hUitiNg stRange... 3/28/2004 06:46:00 PM
hehx... changed the midi lez.. now it matches the layout.. boa's waiting.. :p
aniway.. notting much today.. n guess wad..? gd ol' chung cheng's on the papers again.. muz b tad lohan pig-brained bird-faced daogay's doing again lahz.. hahax.. didn't really read thru' the article.. was juz flipping the zaobao randomly.. then came across a pic which looked familiar.. n there it is..
a couple of peh-peh/s n lao char bo/s posing in front of our beloved zhong zheng hu... yea.. :s *ugh.. think it was the alumni n sumting 'bout an art exhibition..? wadever.. bleahx.
non-cchms ppl reading this.. dun get me wrong.. i dun hate my sec sch.. in fact, i luv it.. it's where most of my fondest memories originated frm.. it's juz tad i happened to hate the principal n the rest of the sch management running the sch.. hmms.. ani cchms student would b able to understand my feelings i guess.. :)
oh well.
ciao~
hUitiNg stRange... 3/28/2004 02:52:00 PM
